Primus customer service & DSL

Oh my gosh! This is hillarious.

Ok, here was my simple goal: find out if I can subscribe to Primus DSL. (I am currently on Shaw with a Primus VOIP phone number).

Go to www.primus.ca and checkout my service availability using http://support.primus.ca/en/service.php

And YES! It shows I should get 2.5 Mbps from the location I entered. Cool!

So I call the toll free number listed for Residential Accounts: 1.800.340.4920. Unfortunately it is all in French even though this is supposed to be the English number. Ok, so I do my best and get on hold. After 10 mins or so I use my second line to dial another number I find at http://primus.ca/en/residential/highspeed/index_west.html 1 877 704-4269. I call it and it puts me straight on hold, i.e. no IVR.

I now have both lines on hold but the latter line picks up first. WooHoo! First thing I notice is really really poor audio quality. I am calling from a hard line so I know the problem is on the Primus end. Not the best way for a telco to make a good impression to a customer. I explain to the Primus CSR I am interesting in confirming I can get DSL. CSR proceeds in broken English over poor audio that I made the wrong choice and I should have pressed option 3. I tried a few times to explain that I wasn't prompted by an IVR but I gave up. The CSR then asks for my primus phone #. I give it. He then tells me it is not a valid number. I ask him to repeat the number he is using and he gives me the correct #! I inform him he has the right number and he should try again. Again he tells me the number is not in service and would like my account # now. Crazy!

Ok, so I start to logon to mytbb to get the stupid account # when he tells me he has found it. great. Now get this, he then proceeds to tell me that he has to transfer me to the DSL group! WTF!!!!! after all that?
So I get transferred. Get a new CSR. Repeat above process ... Audio still sucks.
ok, tell him that I just want to check that I can get DSL. Give address, he confirms the 2.5 Mbps. super! Now CSR says I need to get the Primus Local Home Phone service for the DSL to work. Guess what!? They can't do it!!! I asked if they could put it on a local telco line. He said they can't!!

In summary:

• I can get DSL at 2.5Mbps IF I could get a Primus Local Home Phone service (which I can't)
• Primus web site gives a french toll-free number on the english page
• Primus web site gives a toll-free number with no IVR
• Primus CSR's ?wtf?
• Primus internal telephone Audio quality sucks A$$